Willow's Lost Hope
by danmol
Summary: Willow has been alone since her tragedy,slowly loseing more hope,until one mysterious stranger shows her what living is for, even if she is dead.But will all the disasters that follow and the society they live in keep them from breaking apart?Please Read!
1. Chapter 1

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**Willow's POV **

This is my story. This is my life as it will always be from now on. But a little part of me always thinks that I will never be wanted. That I shouldn't be here; I should be in the ground with every other dead person in this city. Rotting away in the ground, where I have no second chances. I shouldn't be walking these streets, hearing these sounds, seeing the world around me. My heart no longer beats and air no longer needs to pass through my lungs. And yet I am still alive, if you can call what I am living. I am living impaired or as it is now called differently biotic. That is what I have become.

I am alone in a world full of strangers, searching for an existence, for some hope that I will ever again feel anything. I am not your average teenager, as your probably guessing, I am dead. My life got turned upside down the day of the accident and I haven't been the same person since. It is like I have been ripped to pieces and sewn back together all wrong.

Not a single one of my friends look at me in the same way, they do not see me anymore, just what I am. The same love and compassion that was once glistening in their eyes has now dimmed into almost nothingness, empty of emotions like black holes. Nobody wants to be seen even looking at me. They look at me as if it's my fault that I came back; I thought they would be happy, having their friend with them rather than 6 feet under. But it wasn't like that. It never is. Never will be

I am the only, to put it nicely, differently biotic person in my hometown. My existence is a tough one, not everybody in the town is very, accepting with the fact a zombie is walking around. And by not everybody I mean most people. Every single living breathing person, with a few exceptions, is filled with hatred towards me that isn't always just thoughts. Some people are more, upfront, with their feelings towards me. Others are discreet and keep their feelings to themselves, and yet I still know they don't like me.

My own parents don't even want to know me. They turned their backs on me when they had a chance. Threw be out like a bag of garbage, useless, worthless to anybody. I would give anything to see them again, anything at all, to turn back time back to how life should be, but stuff like that only happens in fairy tales. And my life is as far away from a fairy tale as possible. They have left me when I needed someone the most, gone without a trace. Like a figment of my imagination. Never to be seen or heard from again. I would like to think I will see them again one day, but I know in my heart this will never be true.

My name is Willow, unusual but I like it. That's me, or more like who I used to be, Willow Hope Brooks. My middle name is kind of ironic if you ask me, considering I have no hope in this damned world. A soulless heart left un-beating in my ribcage, I trudge from place to place, day after day wishing I can find a place where I exist as one with everyone. A place where I can feel hope again with people that cherish me for who I am. But right now I have nobody, I am alone, every day I lose a piece of my old life, my old self, and this scares me.

Most people ask me about how I died, especially if they are new in town, it was all over the news so most people know by now. But nobody stops to ask if I want people to know before telling them, or ask if I would rather keep the truth to myself. They just stare, point, laugh, you get the picture. It's just every question is a reminder of the past. They haunt me, run through my mind alongside the memory of what happened. Images creep up on me, when I close my eyes, they will stay with me forever.

I shuffle my way through the corridors of my school, no need to worry about bumping into people, they all stay away from me. The end of a long day, I'm walking slower than normal. My legs are much stiffer today than usual, frustrating me with every step. But I keep my head facing downwards, as to avoid eye contact, to hide my pain. The eyes give away a person's true emotions; those emotions are the ones that hurt the most. It's much harder to hide the sneers and the cocky little remarks and the physical pain that is inflicted on me.

Laughter was travelling down the corridor in the opposite direction. It was getting louder with every step closer. The laughter was filled with passion, crackling like a fire. There is a gang of lads walking towards me. Totally oblivious to the fact that I'm stood here, they are miles away in their own little worlds. They probably haven't even seen me yet. Unaware they are walking right towards me.

They were getting closer; I wouldn't be able to get out the way in time. No matter how much I tried, my feet just didn't function properly. One guy looked up towards me, realising who I was filled his face with disgust. He whispered something to his friends and a smirk came to their athletically built faces. I tried to turn around but as usual I wasn't anywhere near quick enough.

"Let..." I tried my hardest to get my words out; straining my throat with each effort, but it was worthless. He had hold of me now. His grip tightening on my arm, any tighter and he would shatter my bone. I don't know how Pushing me up against the lockers. "You worthless piece of shit" he sneered "you should of died that day like the rest of them, you shouldn't be the only one to survive, you don't belong here, you should just bury yourself in the mud, never come back, be where you should be" a small tear rolled down his face, he quickly wiped it away.

He leaned in towards me and muttered under his breath. "You're going to wish you had stayed dead" he glared at me and shoved me towards the floor, where I landed awkwardly. He took a deep breath, making the most disgusting noise at the back of his throat and spat all over me. He stormed off, leaving me with his friends. One of them was drinking a can of something, he took a step towards me and poured the rest on my head, it dripped down the side of my face and onto the floor. The other kicked my books across the floor and shouted some sort of abuse at me; I didn't really pay much attention to him. They swaggered off in the direction of the first guy laughing their heads off.

The fourth guy stayed, but he didn't do anything to me, he just looked at me. He had brown floppy hair nearly covering his eyes, which where the brightest blue I had ever seen. It flicked outwards at the sides of his defined face. He was fair tall, quite tanned and nicely built. He was wearing worn out skinny jeans and a checked shirt, on his feet he wore converse and in his hand was a guitar case. He had a smile on his face, showing off his dimples. It wasn't fake either, it was inviting. He was perfect.

I didn't know whether I should look back at him and keep eye contact or if I should look away, so I fumbled around trying to reach my book. I moved even more awkwardly in the presence of this boy.

"Here let me help you" he said, surprising me, nobody talked to me, nobody even wanted to be left alone with me. And here he was. There was just me and him, nobody else. He picked up the books that where further away from me and knelt down at the side of me. "Th...anks... for... help...ing me" I managed to say quietly. He smiled a smile that was practically perfect at me and reached for the last book, the one closest to me, and the one I too was reaching for.

His hand touched mine. Sending electrical impulses through my veins and shivers down my spine. He pulled away, either because he realised how cold I am, what I am or he felt the same as I did. He had a slight blush on his cheeks. He quickly stood up and said "I... I've got to go now" and with that he walked away. By the time I lifted my head up he was gone.

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	2. Chapter 2

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**Blake's POV **

I walked down the corridor, with my cousin and his friends. Not the person I want to hang around with but he's giving me a lift home, which is nice of him considering I live there too, so I can't really argue. They were laughing at some sport related joke and I couldn't care less to respond to it. I could not be any more different to him, he's a jock and I'm your average indie. His name is Tyler and he's the captain of the school's football team, the top of the schools hierarchy system, loved by anybody and everybody, even the teachers can't get enough of him.

And I'm just a loser forced to walk in the shadows of my relative's footsteps. I'm no good at sports and I'm not even that popular, most people talk to me because I'm related to the, and I quote, "hottest guy in school". The only talent I have is my guitar. I could sit and play my guitar for hours, it's how I channel my emotions, and living this far away from home is tough. I lose myself in my guitar it's like I'm on another planet totally oblivious to the world around me. And I like it that way.

I've just moved here, forced to live with my aunt and uncle for a while whist my parents sort out their "business". They have just gotten divorced, and when everything gets settled I'm either going to be shipped back to my dad's or I'm going to live out here with my mum. Right now I don't even know which option sounds better. For all I know they've probably already forgotten about me, my mum told me she didn't want me to get involved, my dad said it was for the best. And yet not one of them has stopped by to see how I was doing, I've not even had a phone call. They don't care about me, they never did.

My cousin and his cronies were sniggering at something up ahead, pulling me out of my train of thought. They looked like they were up to no good. They stopped walking and whispered among themselves, and all nodded in agreement. Great, god knows what they are going to do, I knew I should've just walked it home, would've have been much easier. They were laughing and pointing at someone standing a bit further down the corridor. Tyler started walked again first quickly followed by his friends; they were like lap dogs, each one trying to get more of Tyler's attention than the other. He was definitely the leader of the pack.

Most people had already set off by now, but the hallway wasn't completely empty, a few stray people here and there, quickly collecting something or other from their lockers before heading home. That's when I noticed her. She stood by herself in an awkward way, almost as if she didn't belong here. I couldn't stop looking at her, my eyes just wouldn't move, I just stood there staring at her, and I don't know why.

She had long faded black hair with the slightest hint of deep red at the ends; it looked as though the colour was draining away from her. She was wearing a worn out hoody with skinny jeans that tucked into her converse; showing off her long slender legs. Simple yet I was drawn to her, I wanted to know who she was, and most of all I wanted to get to know her. She was captivatingly beautiful.

Her eyes were the most intriguing things that I had even seen, they shone like crystals and were the faintest blue, they were almost clear. Every slow blink she took blew me away. Her face was beautiful, and not overly beautiful like most of the girls in the school. But something wasn't quite right; I wasn't sure what though. I was going to find out though, one way or another.

I glanced over at Tyler he was muttering under his breath; disgust filled his eyes as he stared at the girl. I small sense of anger overwhelmed me, almost as though I wanted to protect her. _"What is going on? I don't even know this girl, why do I feel like this, I just don't understand"_ I thought to myself. Tyler was still staring with the same look of disgust on his face, then I realised, this must have been who they were laughing at, but why? More importantly what is he about to do. Whatever he has planned isn't going to be pretty that's for sure.

The girl stood down the hallway totally unaware about what was going to happen. Tyler was striding towards her; she tried to get away but failed. He stopped just in front of her and paused as if he was waiting for some sort of reaction or response. But one never came, the girl had an expression of pure struggle on her face and that was it. A moment or so had passed before he reached out and firmly grabbed her forearm, I could see his grip getting tighter the angrier he got, the tighter he held her. He pushed her up against the lockers, still holding her arm, she wouldn't be able to get away even if she tried, and she was trapped to suffer whatever else he had in mind.

A part of me felt angry at Tyler, I could feel it building up inside of me. I couldn't believe what he was doing. I knew he was tough but I never once thought he would hurt a girl. I wanted to go help her, stop him from hurting her, but I couldn't. My feet were firmly rooted to the ground; all I could do was watch. I felt ashamed. Not only could I not believe what he was doing but I couldn't believe that I was letting it happen. I was a coward.

"You worthless piece of shit" He sneered "You should of died that day like the rest of them, you shouldn't be the only one to survive, you don't belong here, you should just bury yourself in the mud, never come back, be where you should be" I noticed a small tear roll down his face, he quickly wiped it away, I wonder what all this is about, the girl must have done something bad for him to act this way.

He leaned in ever so close to her and whispered something in her ear. He spoke too quietly for me to hear, but whatever it was seemed to make her uneasy. Tyler glared at her, he must really hate this girl, and using half his strength he shoved her to the ground. She looked so fragile, like he could break her as easy as snapping a twig; I felt my free hand scrunch into a fist.

I could feel the anger pulsating through my veins, making my head throb and my chest pound. My grip on the guitar case tightened, my knuckles where going white I don't think I've even been this angry before in my life. Not even when dad left, I wasn't this angry, and yet I still couldn't move, I was fixated to the spot, I couldn't even speak.

Tyler took a deep breath, then spat all over her. I could barely watch. I looked down at my feet and the floor that surrounded them. The fact that I could do nothing to help her filled me with disgrace. Tyler was going to pay later, one way or another. I may not be the strongest of people, I may get pulverised to the ground, my face may get kicked in, but at least Id have tried. I glanced up just as Tyler stormed off; I made a mental note to inquire Tyler later about his actions, and about the girl. The girl I had most certainly fell head over heels for, with no explanation. I had to get to know her, but how.

The tallest and biggest out of the two of Tyler's friends walked over to where the girl was lay. She was very slowly trying to get back on her feet. Trying but not succeeding. She was concentrating so hard on doing such a basic thing; my mind was full of wonder about her, her face was full of frustration. And yet again I felt the compelling sensation that I wanted to protect her. He lifted his drink over her head and poured it. It ran down her face and dripped on the floor, I couldn't understand why they were doing this to her. His other friend kicked her books across the floor with a sly grin on his face. They swaggered off on the same direction as Tyler.

I walked over to the girl, not really knowing what I was about to do. When I reached her I hesitated slightly. Momentarily forgetting how to talk, I didn't know what to say, so I just stood there waiting for some kind of response from her. But one never came. After a second or two she finally slowly looked up, anticipation in her eyes. As if she was waiting for more, as if she was just waiting for another strike.

"Here let me help you" I spoke before I even registered that it was me that was speaking. She just stared, but slowly she looked surprised. I walked over to one of her books and picked it up, she still hadn't spoken. When I got her books I walked back over to her, she hadn't moved an inch in the minutes that had passed. So I knelt down beside of her. "Th...anks... for... help...ing me" her voice was barely a whisper; her words seemed forced, like it took alot for force and concentration to say four simple words.

I smiled, and reached for the last book, it was pretty close to her and she could probably reach it but I had got the rest so I might have well got all of them for her, it was the very least I could do. She reached for it too, clumsily and awkward, frustration in her eyes, like it was a struggle for her to move at all.

And that's when it happened, my hand touched hers, sending shivers down my spine. Desire filled my entire body startling me. Love, passion, awe, emotions whirled around my head, making me nauseous. I gasped but I don't think she noticed me, her hands where so cold, but I didn't mind. I didn't know I could feel this way about anyone, so I panicked. I could feel a blush forming on my cheeks. I stood up and quickly mumbled, "I... I've got to go now" and walked away.

Of all the things I thought Tyler and his friends were, I didn't think they were that inconsiderate. I never in a million years thought he would hurt a girl, no matter what she has done; she didn't deserve that did she?

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	3. Chapter 3

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Willows POV 

Dear Diary, I haven't really written in here for a while. Not since the accident. I didn't really feel the need to considering I was dead. But I need a place to write down my thoughts. It's not like I have someone to talk to. A few days have passed now, maybe even longer and there's still been no sign of my mystery guy, and I'm not surprised I knew it was too good to be wants to know me, I'm invisible now, once I walked the corridors with attitude, most people wanted to be me, I was a real head turner, as my mum would say, and now I get looked at for all the wrong reasons, no one wants to be me now. I don't even want to be me. And I thought he would be different. That I had finally met someone since the accident that would look past my, condition, and see me for who I am, not what I am. But obviously he wasn't, the jocks must have got to him, filled him in on the hatred that the rest of the school felt towards me.

I thought about trying to actually find him by myself, so I could at least thank him properly, but I didn't know where to look. I didn't know where to start, and I know for sure that he wouldn't be looking for me. He has probably moved on with his life, forgotten all about me. I'm just a freak, who for a split second he felt pity towards. That's why he helped me, not because he wanted to, but because he felt compelled to. How could I be so stupid? Why on earth did I think for even a moment that he would actually care? He doesn't know me and I don't know him.

And yet I couldn't quite help but think about him, I've not been able to think about anything else. I don't understand why, I don't even know if I'm capable of feeling anything. But he's been on my mind for the past few days, I can't help it, every thought I've had has led straight back to him. Every minute that passes I long to see his face again, his smile, hear his voice, his laugh, if only I could find him. Even if I did find him, I wouldn't know what to say, he will probably be with those... guys again.

School seemed to drag on even more than usual, the seconds ticked on by, but it never really felt like time was moving, every moment that passed seemed like a waste. My whole life dragged on, if I can even call it life now. I still can't stop thinking of him, I have to do something, I need to know him, I'm going to find him, it's clear as day he isn't going to be looking for me, I don't know why I should bother, but tomorrow is going to be different. I will see him again.

**Blake's POV **

I'm not going to start with the usual cliché, mainly because I'm a guy and we're not really supposed to have diaries. I'm just using this to write down my thoughts. So umm here goes. There's definitely something different about her. The way she looked, the way she dressed, smelt, everything. I just couldn't put my finger on it. She intrigues me. She was just so vulnerable, she looked so fragile. I still don't understand why she's all I can think about, it's like she has taken over my mind, every thought leads back to her. Every moment that passes I wonder where she may be. If only I knew her name.

I look down the hallways before each of my lessons in hope to see her again. But so far I've had no luck. I haven't even had time to look properly just in case I miss her; Tyler has been following me round, keeping a close eye on me. I've just not had a spare moment to get away from him. I just don't understand what he has against her I really don't. That and why he wants to stop me from seeing her so badly. In fact most people have something against her. I can't quite fathom what though. I don't understand. I've tried to ask Tyler but he practically punched me in the face when I mentioned what happened.

Like just this morning before school I asked Tyler why he did what he did to her. He just looked at me in disgust and retorted with a snide comment I won't repeat right now. That's one of his nicer responses. I've still got a bruise on my arm from yesterday. I've tried asking other people but nobody will tell me. It's like everyone has a mental block on the situation and don't want to remember. I will find out. It's only been a few days but I need to know.

It's eating away at me. I just want to find her. Every night I wonder why, I lay awake, unable to stop my mind from thinking about it, about her. I mean it must have been something bad otherwise why would people treat in the way my cousin and the goons he calls friends did. I just can't put an answer to my questions. They whirl around in my mind, never going away. I can't concentrate in class; I'm even finding it hard to sleep at night. As weird as it sounds, never one have I acted like this over some girl. I don't even know who she is, why do I feel like this?

I've even done something that I haven't in a while, not since way before my parents decided to get divorced. I've started to draw again, as lame as that sounds. Ever since I was young I've always loved drawing and writing music. I just never felt motivated enough in recent years. I don't quite know why, but ever since seeing her, I came home that night and drew her, yeah sounds obsessive but, she is my muse.

I still can't stop thinking of her, I have to do something, I need to know her, and I'm going to find her. I've not been successful yet but tomorrow it's going to be different. I will see her again.

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	4. Chapter 4

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**Willows POV **

Dear Diary, I haven't really written in here for a while. Not since the accident. I didn't really feel the need to considering I was dead. But I need a place to write down my thoughts. It's not like I have someone to talk to. A few days have passed now, maybe even longer and there's still been no sign of my mystery guy, and I'm not surprised I knew it was too good to be wants to know me, I'm invisible now, once I walked the corridors with attitude, most people wanted to be me, I was a real head turner, as my mum would say, and now I get looked at for all the wrong reasons, no one wants to be me now. I don't even want to be me. And I thought he would be different. That I had finally met someone since the accident that would look past my, condition, and see me for who I am, not what I am. But obviously he wasn't, the jocks must have got to him, filled him in on the hatred that the rest of the school felt towards me.

I thought about trying to actually find him by myself, so I could at least thank him properly, but I didn't know where to look. I didn't know where to start, and I know for sure that he wouldn't be looking for me. He has probably moved on with his life, forgotten all about me. I'm just a freak, who for a split second he felt pity towards. That's why he helped me, not because he wanted to, but because he felt compelled to. How could I be so stupid? Why on earth did I think for even a moment that he would actually care? He doesn't know me and I don't know him.

And yet I couldn't quite help but think about him, I've not been able to think about anything else. I don't understand why, I don't even know if I'm capable of feeling anything. But he's been on my mind for the past few days, I can't help it, every thought I've had has led straight back to him. Every minute that passes I long to see his face again, his smile, hear his voice, his laugh, if only I could find him. Even if I did find him, I wouldn't know what to say, he will probably be with those... guys again.

School seemed to drag on even more than usual, the seconds ticked on by, but it never really felt like time was moving, every moment that passed seemed like a waste. My whole life dragged on, if I can even call it life now. I still can't stop thinking of him, I have to do something, I need to know him, I'm going to find him, it's clear as day he isn't going to be looking for me, I don't know why I should bother, but tomorrow is going to be different. I will see him again.

**Blake's POV **

I'm not going to start with the usual cliché, mainly because I'm a guy and we're not really supposed to have diaries. I'm just using this to write down my thoughts. So umm here goes. There's definitely something different about her. The way she looked, the way she dressed, smelt, everything. I just couldn't put my finger on it. She intrigues me. She was just so vulnerable, she looked so fragile. I still don't understand why she's all I can think about, it's like she has taken over my mind, every thought leads back to her. Every moment that passes I wonder where she may be. If only I knew her name.

I look down the hallways before each of my lessons in hope to see her again. This all sounds pretty soppy, but I need to write all this down somewhere. I don't truly understand why I can't stop looking for her. So far I haven't had much luck. Even though, I haven't had time to look properly, just in case I miss her; Tyler has been following me round, keeping a close eye on me. I've just not had a spare moment to get away from him. I just don't understand what he has against her I really don't. That and why he wants to stop me from seeing her so badly. In fact most people have something against her. I can't quite fathom what though. I don't understand. I've tried to ask Tyler but he practically punched me in the face when I mentioned what happened.

Like just this morning before school I asked Tyler why he did what he did to her. He just looked at me in disgust and retorted with a snide comment I won't repeat right now. That's one of his nicer responses. I've still got a bruise on my arm from yesterday. I've tried asking other people but nobody will tell me. It's like everyone has a mental block on the situation and don't want to remember. I will find out. It's only been a few days but I need to know.

It's eating away at me. I just want to find her. Every night I wonder why, I lay awake, unable to stop my mind from thinking about it, about her. I mean it must have been something bad otherwise why would people treat in the way my cousin and the goons he calls friends did. I just can't put an answer to my questions. They whirl around in my mind, never going away. I can't concentrate in class; I'm even finding it hard to sleep at night. As weird as it sounds, never once have I acted like this over some girl. I don't even know who she is, why do I feel like this?

I've even done something that I haven't in a while, not since way before my parents decided to get divorced. I've started to draw again, as lame as that sounds. Ever since I was young I've always loved drawing and writing music. I just never felt motivated enough in recent years. I don't quite know why, but ever since seeing her, I came home that night and drew her, yeah sounds obsessive but, she is my muse.

I still can't stop thinking of her, I have to do something, I need to know her, and I'm going to find her. I've not been successful yet but tomorrow it's going to be different. I will see her again.

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